Phantom of the Opera

So, it’s been a long while, again. Things have been busy.

I just finished watching A Girl Like Her on Netflix. Through the tears I’m seeing a lot of things in my mind. The story of this movie is extremely heartbreaking. I didn’t expect the reaction that I have right now when I began watching it two hours ago.

This post isn’t about the movie I just watched.  It’s not my recommendations.

I’m ashamed. Mostly of myself.

I’m afraid. Mostly of the truth.

I’m tired…

I want to be better. I want to feel better. I want to be me again. I’m sitting here alone, in the dark, waiting for it to be over. Waiting for the sun to rise, but I’ve got 5, 6, 7 hours to wait.

My brain is scattered much like this post. I’m asking myself for help, but I’m not listening. I just want someone to hear me. Someone to believe me. I’m not me. I am a lie.

It’s more than stress, it’s more than sadness, it’s more than lingering exhaustion. It’s a symptom.

I’m ashamed, for not talking about it. Nobody wanted to listen.

I’m worth my life. I’m worth the time for someone to care and for someone to listen.

I’m worth the love it takes.