So, it’s been a while since my last post. Things have been busy. What’s been going on you might ask? Work work work work work work (thanks Rihanna).
I’ve been searching a lot. Not sure what for, but I just continue for search. I keep getting asked when I’m going to “settle down” and find someone to marry and spend my life with. I never know how to answer that so I just make a super dumb joke and take the conversation in a total different direction.
The answer is….I HAVE NO BLOODY CLUE! I have been single for 22 years. I don’t even know what that means! What does it mean? Is my time running out to find “love”?
The worst part of the situation is that my sister is having a baby, and my baby fever is spiking 1000 degrees! I’m boiling here!!!!! What is a girl to do? ~This is where I would make the joke that you could “slut it up”. But it’s not funny anymore.
I feel like I am just not the right material for that life. I’m always going to be the leftovers. I mean it can’t be that bad. Leftover pizza is always good. The same idea? Maybe… I apologize for going on and on about my extinct love life, but it is very important to me. I want to experience this aspect of love. It’s kind of what I am living for.
Is it wrong? It might possibly be. Do I care? Not at all.
Alright, alright. So maybe my previous posts were a little too rough, but I can’t apologize for what was written.
I didn’t write this to make others happy. I didn’t write this to gain approval from the world. This blog is to help me write out what I can’t say to others. I can’t spit these words out. I’m sorry if you personally felt offended, but this is my story and I can’t change what is.
I say terrible things about people when I’m frustrated because I can’t fight it. I live through gossip and fire, and so what? Why would that matter to anyone? That just means I am a horrible person. And yeah if you know me personally, you’ll say “oh but you are such a wonderful person! You’re so nice!” ~Yeah well that ain’t true. That is the only way I can deal with things. I mean, it’s really not dealing with my own shit. But it makes me forget my own problems if I talk about others. If i’m going to be honest, I’m not going to talk about if you I like you. If you are someone that makes me happy, I refuse to talk about you. It’s my law. But unfortunately, if you piss me off in the right way, I will have no choice but to say something (I told you are was terrible).
So, that is what those posts were all about. Call me whatever. Say I’m terrible. Say I’m a bitch. I don’t care. I’m proud to be one. Make me a bully. Whatever. If I make a wrong move, that’s my problem. Those are my consequences to deal with. If they choose to hate me, then that is just one less thing that I have to handle.